Sunday, December 26, 2010

Sex before Marriage

Are Muslims allowed to partake in any sexual activity before they get married?
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Brother, let me ask you a question. How would you feel if someone indulges in sexual relationship with your sister or daughter claiming that they’re planning to get married, yet after he fulfills his desires, he “dumps” her?
I don’t think you would like such a thing. How would you like it for somebody else’s daughter or sister?
You certainly don’t want to incur the wrath of Allah when committing this grave act called Zina.

Zina encompasses all the characteristics of evil: lack of religious commitment, loss of piety, loss of chivalry, lack of protective jealousy (gheerah). You will not find any adulterer who is pious, or keeps his promises, or speaks truthfully, or is a good friend, or has complete protective jealousy towards his family.
Another effect of zina is the darkening of the face, darkness of the heart and the extinguishing of its light, which is what causes the extinguishing of light in the face and the darkening thereof. Another effect of zina is the poverty that it leads to.

The prophet says in the hadith reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim: “No adulterer is a believer at the moment when he is committing adultery.

One of the things that the prophet saw when he was taken into the Isra and Al-Mi’ra’s journey, is men being given the choice of good and rotten food, these men would leave the good food and take the rotten one. When the prophet asked as to who is these men, Jibril responded that these are the men who leave the halal and go towards haram by committing Zina.

Let me also share with you some proactive steps that would help you battle the disease of Zina:

1) Think of getting married
2) Fast if you can’t get married
3) Strengthen your Iman by reading Quran and performing voluntary prayers
4) Choose the right friends for they can help you adhere to the right path
I ask Allah to protect and guide you to the straight path.
Sh. Riad Ouarzazi
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Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Best Quality is to Have Trust in Allaah

by SAFAH » Sun Dec 19, 2010 5:26 pm
Asalamu'alaikum

Bismillah.

The Best Quality is to Have Trust in Allaah


As for the next part of the question, about the most valuable quality to aim for, then the answer to this is that the best prize is to have trust in Allaah, reliance upon Him of His sufficiency, and keeping a good opinion of Him, the latter being that if anyone is anxious regarding their sustenance then he should turn to the shelter of Allaah, as the Exalted said, from what is narrated by His Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam,

"O My servants, all of you are hungry except for those I have fed, so seek food of Me and I shall feed you. O My servants, all of you are naked except for those I have clothed, so seek clothing of Me and I shall clothe you." [Upon Aboo Dharr, related by Muslim, at-Tirmidhee, and Ahmad]

In this regard there is also a hadeeth which at-Tirmidhee narrates from Anas (radiyallaahu `anhu), who said that the Messenger of Allaah (salalllaahu `alayhi wa sallam) said,

"Each of you should ask for his needs from Allaah, even if the strap of your sandal breaks, because if Allaah does not facilitate it, it will never be possible."

Allaah the Most High says in His Book:

"...But ask Allaah for His bounty..." [4:32]

"And when the prayer is finished, then you may disperse through the land, and seek the Bounty of Allaah..." [62:10]

Although this aayah is in the context of the congreagational Friday prayer, its meaning applies to all the prayers. That is why- and Allaah knows best - the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam instructed the person entering the mosque to say,

"AllaahummaftaH lee abwaaba raHmatik" (O Allaah! open the doors of Your mercy for me)

and when leaving the mosque to say,

"Allaahumma innee as'aluka min faDlik" (O Allaah! I ask of You some of Your Bounty)

[Muslim, Aboo Daawood, an-Nasaa'ee, ad-Daarimee, ibn Maajah, Ahmad, Aboo 'Awaanah, Abdur-Razzaaq and al-Baihaqee]

Also the Friend of Allaah (i.e. Ibraaheem, `alayhis salaam) had said,

"...then seek sustenance from Allaah, serve Him, and be grateful to Him." [29:17]

This is a command, and a command signifies obligation. Therefore, to seek help from Allaah and to entreat to Him in the matter of livelihood and others is a fundamental principle. Furthermore, it is important in seeking a livelihood that one should acquire wealth with generosity of heart and not with greed so that he may be blessed in it. Neither should he make the wealth the primary aim; rather, he should regard wealth much as he regards the toilet, which he has need of but it has no place in his heart, and he only resorts to it when necessary.

A marfoo` (i.e. report consisting of a chain of narration that goes back to the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam) hadeeth which is related by at-Tirmidhee and others states that, "He who begins the morning with this world as his greatest concern, Allaah disperses his collected gains and puts its loss in front of him, and only that of the world comes to him which is written for him. And he who begins the morning with the Hereafter as his greatest concern, Allaah gathers for him his works and creates richness in his heart due to them, and the world comes to him subserviently." [Related by at-Tirmidhee with a da`eef isnaad, but the hadeeth is saheeh due to the supporting narrations of ibn Maajah, Ibn Hibbaan and Ahmad]

One of the Salaf said, "Each of you is in need of the world, but you are in more need of your portion in the Hereafter. Therefore, if you are in search of your portion in the Hereafter first and foremost, then you will achieve your portion of the world in passing, such that it is taken care of as it comes."

Allaah the Exalted says:

"I have only created jinn and men that they may worship Me. No sustenance do I require of them, nor do I require that they should feed Me. For Allaah is He who gives (all) sustenance, Lord of Power, Steadfast (forever)." [51:56-58]

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Increase Love

by SAFAH » Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:53 pm
Bismillah

Increase Love


Allah Ta’ala has made nikah itself such that it increases love between two individuals. Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) has said:



عن ابن عباس قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم لم نر للمتحابين مثل النكاح


Ibn Abbas (Radhiyallahu Anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) has said, “We have not seen anything that creates love between two individuals such as nikah.” (Ibn Majha)


There are many ways of increasing love between the couple. Consider the following ten points to maintain a happy marriage and control the instinct of dispute.


1. Fear Allah: It was the noble practice of Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) to make the spouses aware of the fear of Allah before performing a nikah by reciting the verses (al-Nisa 14, al-Ahzab 69, Aali-Imraan 101) from the Qur’an. All the verses are common in the message of taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses will be first committed to Allah before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah.


2.


Never be angry at the same time: Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes. One Sahabi came to Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) and sought some advice. Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) replied, “Control your anger.” The same advice was rendered three times. (Mishkat p. 433; H.M. Saeed)


3. If one has to win an argument, let it be the other: Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the center of Jannah. (Mishkat p. 412)


4. Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire: Luqman (AS) while offering advice to his son said, “And lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of an donkey.” (Surah Luqman 19)


5. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly: Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “A Mu’min is a mirror for a Mu’min.” (Abu Dawood 2/325 Imdadiya) Advice with dignity and silently.


6. Never bring up mistakes of the past: Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyamah.” (Mishkat p. 429)


7. Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner: Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) confirmed the advice of Salman (Radhiyallahu Anhu) to Abu Darda (Radhiyallahu Anhu) for neglecting his wife. “Verily there is a right of your wife over you.” (Nasai 2391)


8. Never sleep with an argument unsettled: Abu Bakr (Radhiyallahu Anhu) resolved his dispute with his wife over feeding the guest before going to bed. (Bukhari 602)


9. At least, once everyday, express your gratitude to your partner: Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to Allah.” (Abu Dawud p. 662; Karachi)


10. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness: Nabi (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “All the sons of Adam commit error, and the best of those who err are those who seek forgiveness.” (Tirmidhi 2499)


(Taken from Al-Mahmood)
_________________________________

The shortest distance between a problem and its solution is the distance between your knees and the floor.
The one who kneels before Allah (swt) can stand up to anything.

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Allâh Grants Help and Victory to Followers of the True Dîn

by SAFAH » Sun Dec 19, 2010 6:16 am
Asalamu'alaikum

Bismillah.

Allâh Grants Help and Victory to Followers of the True Dîn

By Imâm ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah rahimahullâh
From "Ighâthatul-Lahfân min Masâ'id ish-Shaytân" [2/229]


A lot of people think that followers of the True Religion are humiliated, subdued and always defeated, unlike those who follow other paths. So they do not have certainty in Allâh's promise of victory for His religion and His servants. Rather, even if they don't say it, they think that this promise is either particular to a specific group, or to a specific time, or they link it to Allâh's will (not related to any rules that Allâh set in His creation).

This (attitude and understanding) is due to absence of certainty in the Promise of Allâh, the Most High, and due to a poor understanding of His Book.

1. Allâh subhânahu has explained in His Book that He is the Helper of believers in this world and the next:

He said, the Most High, "Indeed We will support Our messengers and those who believe during the life of this world and on the Day when the witnesses will stand." [Ghâfir 40:51]

"And whoever is an ally of Allâh and His Messenger and those who have believed - indeed, the party of Allâh - they will be the predominant." [al-Mâ'idah 5:56]

"Indeed, the ones who oppose Allâh and His Messenger - those will be among the most humbled. Allâh has written [i.e. decreed], 'I will surely overcome, I and My messengers.' Indeed, Allâh is Powerful and Exalted in Might." [al-Mujâdilah 58:20-21]

There are many such verses in the Qur'ân.

2. Allâh subhânahu has also explained in the Qur'ân that what befalls a servant from calamity, or defeat, or other than that, is because of his sins. Allâh subhânahu has explained both of these principles in His Book, so when you join them, the reality of the matter will become clear to you, problems will completely disappear, and you will be in no need of unnecessary, burdening explanations, or far-fetched interpretations.

Allâh subhânahu wa ta'âla has explained the first principle in different ways, including what has preceded (in the verses above). Likewise, He censured one who seeks help and honour from other than the believers, as in His saying:

"O you who have believed do not take the Jews and the Christians as allies. They are [in fact] allies of one another. And whoever is an ally to them among you then indeed, he is [one] of them. Indeed, Allâh guides not the wrongdoing people.

So you see those in whose hearts is disease [i.e. hypocrisy] hastening into [association with] them, saying, 'We are afraid a misfortune may strike us.' But perhaps Allâh will bring conquest or a decision from Him, and they will become, over what they have been concealing within themselves, regretful.

And those who believe will say [i.e. about the hypocrites and their exposure], 'Are these the ones who swore by Allâh their strongest oaths that indeed they were with you?' Their deeds have become worthless, and they have become losers.

O you who have believed, whoever of you should revert from his religion - Allâh will bring forth [in place of them] a people He will love and who will love Him [who are] humble toward the believers, powerful against the disbelievers; they strive in the cause of Allâh and do not fear the blame of a critic. That is the favour of Allâh; He bestows it upon whom He wills. And Allâh is all-Encompassing and Knowing.

Your ally is none but Allâh and [therefore] His Messenger and those who have believed - those who establish prayer and give zakâh, and they bow [in worship].

And whoever is an ally of Allâh and His Messenger and those who have believed - indeed, the party of Allâh - they will be the predominant." [al-Mâ'idah 5:51-56]

So Allâh rebuked those who seek help from other than His party and informed that His party – they will be the predominant.

In this regards, He said, "Give tidings to the hypocrites that there is for them a painful punishment. Those who take disbelievers as allies instead of the believers. Do they seek with them honour [through power]? But indeed, honour belongs to Allâh entirely *." [an-Nisâ' 4:138-139] [* Being the source of all power and honour, Allâh grants them to whom He wills.]

"They say, 'If we return to Al-Madînah, the more honoured [for power] will surely expel there from the more humble.' And to Allâh belongs [all] honour, and to His Messenger, and to the believers, but the hypocrites do not know." [Al-Munâfiqûn 63:8]

"Whoever desires honour [through power] - then to Allâh belong all honour. To Him ascends good speech, and righteous work raises it *." [Fâtir 35:10] [*For acceptance by Allâh, meaning that righteous deeds are confirmation and proof of what is uttered by tongue.]

That is, whoever seeks honour, let him seek it by obedience to Allâh through good speech and righteous work.

"It is He who has sent His Messenger with the guidance and the religion of truth to manifest it over all religion, although they will associate others with Allâh dislike it." [at-Taubah 9:33]

"O you who have believed, shall I guide you to a transaction that will save you from a painful punishment? [It is that] you believe in Allâh and His Messenger and strive in the cause of Allâh with your wealth and your lives. That is best for you, if you should know. He will forgive for you your sins and admit you to gardens beneath which rivers flow and pleasant dwellings in gardens of perpetual residence. That is the great attainment. And [you will obtain] another [favour] that you love - victory from Allâh and an imminent conquest; and give good tidings to the believers." [Saff 61:10-13]

That is, He will give them another [favour] besides forgiveness of their sins and entrance to the Paradise – help and victory:

“O you who have believed, be supporters of Allâh, as when Jesus, the son of Mary, said to the disciples, 'Who are my supporters for Allâh?' The disciples said, 'We are supporters of Allâh.' And a faction of the Children of Israel believed and a faction disbelieved. So We supported those who believed against their enemy, and they became dominant." [Saff 61:14]

Allâh said to Jesus, 'alayhis salâm, "'Indeed I will take you and raise you to Myself and purify [i.e. free] you from those who disbelieve and make those who follow you [in submission to Allâh alone] superior to those who disbelieve until the Day of Resurrection." [Âl-'Imrân 3:55] So because the Christians follow him, they are superior to the Jews until the Day of Resurrection, and because Muslims follow him more than the Christians, they are superior to them until the Day of Resurrection.

Allâh ta'ala said to the believers, "And if these [Makkans] who disbelieve were to fight you, they would certainly turn their backs [in flight]. Then they would not find a protector or a helper.

[This is] the established way of Allâh which has occurred before. And you will never find in the way of Allâh any change." [Fath 48:22-23] This is addressed to the believers who fulfilled both outward and inward realities of faith.

“Indeed, the [best] outcome is for the righteous." [Hûd 11:49] And, "The [best] outcome is for [those of] righteousness." [Tâ-Hâ 20:132] The intended here is the outcome in this world before the next, because He mentioned this after the story of Nûh, and his victory over his people and patience with them. So He said, "This is from the news of the unseen which We reveal to you, [O Muhammad]. You knew it not, neither you nor your people, before this. So be patient, indeed, the [best] outcome is for the righteous." [Hûd 11:49] That is, the outcome of help for you and those with you, as it was for Nûh - 'alayhis salâm – and those who believed with him.

Likewise His saying, "And enjoin prayer upon your family [and people] and be steadfast therein. We ask you not for provision; We provide for you and the [best] outcome is for [those of] righteousness." [Tâ-Hâ 20:132]

"If good touches you, it distresses them; but if harm strikes you, they rejoice at it. And if you are patient and fear Allâh, their plot will not harm you at all. Indeed, Allâh is encompassing of what they do." [Âl-'Imrân 3:120]

"Yes, if you remain patient and conscious of Allâh and they [i.e. the enemy] come upon you [attacking] in rage, your Lord will reinforce you with five thousand angels having marks [of distinction]." [Âl-'Imrân 3:125]

He said, relating the words of Yûsuf - 'alayhis salâm – that he was helped due to his taqwa and his patience. So he said, "'I am Joseph, and this is my brother. Allâh has certainly favoured us. Indeed, he who fears Allâh and is patient, then indeed, Allâh does not allow to be lost the reward of those who do good.'" [Yûsuf 12:90]

"O you who have believed, if you fear Allâh, He will grant you a criterion and will remove from you your misdeeds and forgive you. And Allâh is the possessor of great bounty." [al-Anfâl 8:29]

The criterion is honour and help, and victory and light, which distinguish between the Truth and the falsehood.

"And whoever fears Allâh – He will make for him a way out. And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allâh – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allâh will accomplish His purpose. Allâh has already set for everything a [decreed] extent." [at-Talâq 65:3-4]

Ibn Mâjah and Ibn Abî Dunya have related on the authority of Abû Dharr, radhiallâhu 'anhu, that the Prophet, sallallâhu ta'ala 'alayhi wa alihi wa sallam said: "If all people acted in accordance with this ayah, it would suffice them." [Narrators of the hadîth are trustworthy except that the chain is disconnected, so the hadîth is weak] This is related to the first principle.

As for the second principle:

"Why [is it that] when a [single] disaster struck you [on the day of Uhud], although you had struck [the enemy in the Battle of Badr] with one twice as great, you said, 'From where is this?' Say, 'It is from yourselves [i.e. due to your sin].' And Allâh, over all things, is competent." [Âl-'Imrân 3:165]

"Indeed, those of you who turned back on the day the two armies met [at Uhud] - it was Satan who caused them to slip because of some [blame] they had earned. But Allâh has already forgiven them. Indeed, Allâh is Forgiving and Forbearing." [Âl-'Imrân 3:155]

"And whatever strikes you of disaster - it is for what your hands have earned; but He pardons much." [ash-Shûra 42:30]

"Corruption has appeared throughout the land and sea by [reason of] what the hands of people have earned so He [i.e. Allâh] may let them taste part of [the consequence of] what they have done that perhaps they will return [i.e. refrain]." [ar-Rûm 30:41]

"But if they turn away - then We have not sent you [O Muhammad], over them as a guardian; upon you is only [the duty of] notification. And indeed, when We let man taste mercy from Us, he rejoices in it; but if evil afflicts him for what his hands have put forth, then indeed, man is ungrateful." [ash-Shûra 42:48]

"And when We let the people taste mercy, they rejoice therein, but if evil afflicts them for what their hands have put forth, immediately they despair." [ar-Rûm 30:36]

"Or He could destroy them for what they earned; but He pardons much." [ash-Shûra 42:34]

"What comes to you of good is from Allâh, but what comes to you of evil, [O man], is from yourself. And We have sent you, [O Muhammad], to the people as a messenger, and sufficient is Allâh as Witness." [an-Nisâ' 4:79]

This is why Allâh subhânahu ordered His Messenger and believers to follow what was sent to them, that is, to be obedient to Him. This is the first principle. He also ordered them to wait for His Promise, and this is the second principle. And He ordered them to seek forgiveness and practice patience because the servant will certainly have shortcomings and seeking forgiveness will clear those shortcomings. Likewise, patience is required while waiting for the Promise. Obedience is perfected and completed with seeking forgiveness, and certainty in the Promise is perfected and completed with patience. Allâh subhânahu has joined the two in His saying, "So be patient. Indeed, the promise of Allâh is truth. And ask for forgiveness of your sin and exalt [Allâh] with praise of your Lord in the evening and the morning." [Ghâfir 40:55]

Allâh subhânahu has mentioned in His book the stories of the Prophets and their followers and how they saved themselves with patience and obedience. Then He said, "There were certainly in their stories a lesson for those of understanding." [Yûsuf 12:111]

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Monday, December 20, 2010

A TRUE MUSLIM LEADER.

by SAFAH » Mon Dec 20, 2010 5:52 pm
Asalamu'alaikum

Bismillah.

Once Hadhrat Umar (Radhiyallaho Anho), during his caliphate, was going on his usual rounds towards Harrah (a suburb of Madinah) with his slave Aslam, when he saw a distant fire in the desert. He said, "There seems to be a camp. Perhaps, it is a caravan that could not enter the town due to night fall. Let's go and look after them and arrange for their protection during the night."

When he reached there, he found a woman and some children. The children were crying. The woman had a pan of water over the fire. Hadhrat Umar (Radhiyallaho Anho) greeted her with salaam and, with her permission, went near her. (The woman didn't recognize that it was Umar).

Umar, "Why are these children crying?"

The Woman, "Because they are hungry."

Umar, "What is in the pan?"

The Woman, "Only water to soothe the children, so that they may go to sleep in the belief that food is being prepared for them. Ah! Allah will judge between Umar (Radhiyallaho Anho) and me, on the Day of Judgment, for neglecting me in my distress."

Umar (weeping), "May Allah have mercy on you! How can Umar know of your distress?"

The Woman, "When he is our Amir, he must keep himself informed about us."

Hadhrat Umar (Radhiyallaho Anho) returned to the town and straight away went to the Baitul Mal (House of Charity) to fill a sack with flour, dates, fat, and clothes, and also drew some money. When the sack was ready, he said to Aslam, "Now put this sack on my back, Aslam."

Aslam, "No please, Amir-ul-Momineen! I shall carry this sack."

Umar refused to listen to Aslam, even on his persistent requests to allow him to carry the sack, and remarked, "What! Will you carry my load on the Day of Judgment? I must carry this bag, for it is I who would be questioned (in the Hereafter) about this woman."

Aslam most reluctantly placed the bag on Umar's (Radhiyallaho Anho) back, who carried it with a swift pace right to the woman's tent. Aslam followed at his heels. He put a little flour and some dates and fat in the pan and began to stir. He blew (with his mouth) into the fire to kindle it.

Aslam says, "I saw the smoke passing through his thick beard."

After some time, the pottage was ready. He himself served it to the family. When they had eaten to their fill, he made over to them the little that was left for their next meal. The children were very happy after their meal and began to play about merrily.

The woman felt very grateful and remarked, "May Allah reward you for your kindness! In fact you deserve to take the place of Khalifah instead of Umar."

Umar consoled her and said, "When you come to see the Khalifah, you will find me there."

He sat for a while at a place close by and kept on watching the children. He then returned to Madinah. On his way back, he said to Aslam, "Do you know why I sat there, Aslam? I had seen them weeping in distress. I liked to see them laughing and happy for some time."

Source: From the book "Stories of the Sahaba" by Shaikh Muhammad Zakariyya Kandhalvi.

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8 things you can do to countercat the effects of stress

by SAFAH » Mon Dec 20, 2010 5:47 pm
Asalamu'alaikum

Bismillah.

1. Increase dhikr (remembrance of Allah): "Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah: for without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction (Qur'an, 13:28)." 2. Increase prayers: "O you who believe! Seek assistance through patience and prayer; surely, Allah is with the patient (Qur'an, 2:153)." Regardless of the type of meditation, recent studies have verified the physiological effects of meditation. Most of those mediations consist in focusing on something, repeating some words and breathing (Greenberg, p.142, 143).

3. Perform ablutions: The most important component of relaxation is what Hans Loehr calls "the rituals of success." These rituals may be as simple as making ablution; yet, they must be performed properly for it is not enough to pass water on the body parts - those parts must be massed.

4. Ask for forgiveness : Even if a person has not done anything wrong, he must insure the forgiveness of Allah. "Then I said, 'Ask forgiveness of your Lord; surely, He is the most Forgiving'" (Qur'an, 71:10).

5. Recite the Qur'an: The Prophet (SAW) said, ". Qur'an is a remedy for illnesses of the mind" (Bukhari). "The echo of sound has a medical effect and is now widely utilized," says Dr. Greenberg. "The recitation of or listening to the Qur'an has an effect on the body, the heart and the mind! It is said that the letter Alif echoes to the heart and the letter Ya' to the pineal gland in the brain.

Dr Ahmed El Kadi of Akber Clinic (Panama City, FL) conducted and published the effects of listening to Qur'anic recitation on physiological parameters ( i.e., the heart, blood pressure, and muscle tension), and reported improvement in all factors, irrespective of whether the listener was a Muslim or a non-Muslim, Arab or non-Arab. Obviously, it can be postulated that those who understand and enjoy the recitation with a belief in it will get maximum benefits," writes Dr Athar.

6. Make the hereafter one's main concern: "Whoever has the hereafter as his main concern, Allah will fill his heart with a feeling of richness and independence; he will be focused and feel content, and this world will come to him in spite of it. Whoever has this world as his main concern, Allah will cause him to feel constant fear of poverty; he will be distracted and unfocused, and he will have nothing of this world except what was already predestined for him," said the Prophet (SAW). One of the greatest causes of stress is money - how to pay the loans, whether one's job will be lost, what will happen to the family if the father dies, etc.

7. Think positively: Muslims should forget about the bad things of the past and think of good things, always having hope that he can be better. Trying to change the past is a foolish and crazy waste of time, "for saying 'if only.'opens the way to Shaytan" said the Prophet (SAW). The Prophet (SAW) also said, " Know that victory (achievement) comes through patience, and that ease comes through hardship." Muslims understand that there's no reason for panic in the case of crisis - no reason to be distressed or worried for we know that after hardship come ease!

8. Do not waste time on thoughts of fear or stress: "The search of time is one of the most frequent causes of stress" (Seyle, p.102). Laziness is the mother of all evils, and the Prophet (SAW) used to seek refuge in Allah from it. Understanding that this life is short and time precious, Muslims should try to work hard and pursue worthy knowledge .

References
Athar, Shahid, MD. "Modern Stress and Its Cure From Qur'an."
Greenberg, Jerrold S. CSM = Comprehensive Stress Management. WCB: McGraw-Hill. 1999

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Strawberry...
































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Saturday, December 18, 2010

Selecting a wife..!!

When searching for a wife the most important principle one has to understand is that whatever pleases you about a woman will suffice. There are further clarifications in Islam on what are the qualities you should be looking for in a wife. This is one of the rights of your children upon you that you choose a good mother for them. Below is a breakdown of what to look for and they are explained by a collection of Ahadeeth.

A Righteous Muslim Woman
Four qualities women are married for and which one to look for as a priority;
Abu Hurairah may Allah be pleased with him reported that the Prophet SAW said: “A woman is sought in marriage for four reasons; wealth, social status, beauty and deen (piety). So seek the one with deen – may you then be successful.” (recorded in Bukhari & Muslim)

The Prophet SAW also said: “The best property a man can have is a remembering tongue (about Allah), a grateful heart and a believing wife who helps him in his faith.” And again: “The world, the whole of it, is a commodity and the best of the commodities of the world is a virtuous wife.”
A woman that brings happiness or misery;
Sa’ad bin Abi Waqas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that Prophet SAW said: “There are four sources of happiness and four sources of misery.
Among the sources of happiness are:
1.    A good wife who pleases you when you look at her; and when you are away from her, you trust her in regards to herself and your property.
2.    An easy ride that enables you to catch up with you companions.
3.    A house that is spacious and of many facilities.
4.    A good neighbor.
And the sources of misery are:
1.    An evil wife who dismays you when you look at her, who uses her tongue against you, and who, when you are away from her, you would not trust her in regard to herself or your property.
2.    A stubborn ride that if you whip it would tire you, and if you leave it alone you would not be able to catch up with your companions.
3.    A tight house of limited facilities.
4.    An evil neighbor. (Recorded by Al-Hakim)
Avoiding a Woman of low moral standard
Abu Musa al-Ashari may Allah be pleased with him reported that Allah’s Messenger SAW said: “There are three individuals that, when they supplicate to Allah, their supplication is not answered: a man who has a wife of bad character but he does not divorce her, a man who lends money to another man without taking witnesses, and a man who gives money to a weak minded person.”  (Recorded by Al-Hakim)
Virgins

This is not a condition for marriage but rather a recommended quality;

Abdullah bin Masud (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that Prophet SAW said; “Marry virgins, because they have sweeter mouths (i.e. speech) and more fertile wombs, and are easier to be satisfied with little wealth.” (Recorded by at-Tabarani)

There is also the hadith of Jabir ibn Abdillah reported that once he was on an expedition with the Prophet SAW, and when they were close to the city of Madinah, he sped on his mount. The Prophet SAW asked him why he was in such a hurry to return home. Jabir replied, “I am recently married!” The Prophet SAW asked, “To an older lady or a younger one?” [the Arabic could also read: "To a widow or a virgin?"], to which he replied, “A widow.” The Prophet SAW said, “But why didn’t you marry a younger girl, so that you could play with her, and she could play with you, and you could make her laugh, and she could make you laugh?”

Loving Wife

Marry women that you expect will love;
Abu Uthaynah as Sadafi (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that Prophet SAW said: “The best of your women are those who are bearers of many children, loving, comforting, and tolerant – provided that they have taqwa to Allah. And the worst of your women are those who display their charms, and who walk with arrogance. Such are the hypocrites, and those of them who will enter the Jannah are as rare as are the red-beaked and red-legged crows.” (Recorded by Al- Bayhaqi)

Ibn Abbas may Allah be pleased with him reported that Allah’s Messenger SAW said: “Your Women who will be of the dwellers of Jannah are those who are loving, bearers of many children, and caring toward their husbands.” (Recorded by Tammam ar Razi and Others)

Beauty
As men are physical by nature beauty is important;
Abu Hurairah may Allah be pleased with him reported Allah’s Messenger SAW said: “The best of women is that who pleases him (husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he orders, and does not subject her person or money to what he dislikes.” (Recorded by Ahmad)

Compatibility
In Islam we are told that compatibility is important;
Aisha may Allah be pleased with her reported that Prophet SAW said: “Make a (good) choice for your seed; marry who are compatible, and marry (your daughters) to them.” (Recorded by Ibn Majah, al-Hakim and Others)

In Conclusion Deen and Character should be the focal point of one’s search in a wife. All other qualities if possessed are icing on the cake.
Muslim Harmony – Advice Central Team

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Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Understanding Hijab For Dummies ..!!




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Understanding Jihad 4 dummies

Peace be upon you,

Miss Noor is back again in another course of "Understanding Islam for Dummies". it's Jihad this time. I admit that Jihad is a very wide term and needs a lot of talking to be explained. I tried to simplify it and make it easy to understand.


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Understanding Islam 4 dummies Part 2


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Understanding Islam 4 dummies

Peace be upon you,

"Understanding Islam for dummies" introduced by teacher Miss Noor:

It's not easy to summarize a huge religion such as Islam in just 9 panels so I tried to make things simple and focus on the basics.
I tried to make it very simple, easy and a little funny.
for non-muslims, I hope this will let you learn something new about Islam. for my muslim brothers and sisters, I hope ou enjoy it too.



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